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TABLE OF CONTENTS
9 Prologue
13 The Shadows and Lights of Childhood: How Parents’ Experiences Shape Their Children’s Destiny
17 Toxic People: Who They Are and How to Recognize Them
25 How to Deal with Toxic People
29 The Favorite Masks of the Abuser: How You Are Easily Deceived
37 Why You Cannot Leave a Toxic Relationship
42 Overcoming Codependency and Becoming Your Own Support
51 Emotional Blackmail: How It Manifests
58 The Personalities of Emotional Blackmailers
66 Why You are Not Appreciated in a Relationship
70 How to Free Yourself from Emotional Dependence
75 Why Do You Stay with Someone Who Makes You Suffer?
79 Are You Searching for Authentic Love? Learn to Love Yourself
83 Neither Takes You Nor Lets You Go? It is Just a Game
88 You See and Hear It—But They Say “You are Imagining Things”? A Form of Aggressive Manipulation
91 “I Can’t Live With You, But I Can’t Live Without You Either”—Sounds Familiar?
95 How to Break Free from a Narcissistic Manipulator
100 How to Unmask a Psychopath
105 The Traumas Behind Misogyny and Misandry
109 “I Left You. Will You Give Me Another Chance?”
112 Why It Hurts When Someone Leaves You
115 You Love Each Other, But You Do Not Understand Each Other? Here’s Why
119 How Myths About Sex Affect Intimacy
125 Why Sexual Desire Fades in a Relationship
130 Think You are Not Good in Bed? Look at Your Body to Find the Truth
133 How Body Criticism Undermines Women’s Sexuality
136 Beliefs That Block Female Sexuality
139 Sexuality: The Mirror of a Couple’s True Attitude
142 How to Cope With a Partner’s Indifference
145 Epilogue. Rewrite Your Life Story
“You dumped me.”
“No, I’m leaving because you are hurting me.”
“We’ll see how you manage without me.”
“I’ll be fine… Why did you even marry me, if my very existence has always been a constant reproach to you?”
“I thought you’d change.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
Prologue
Hello, I’m Maittrey.I grew up surrounded by violence, and as an adult, I unconsciously sought refuge in abusive relationships—simply because I had no idea what a healthy one looked like. This is my story, but also the story of thousands of women and men who, like me, found themselves trapped in the web of manipulation and abuse.
I was raised by a narcissistic father and a mother who chose to live a foreign life—one filled with pain. She never had the courage to take responsibility for her own destiny.
Today, years later, I understand that both of them carried deep, untreated wounds. And despite all their misery and unhappiness, they felt strangely comfortable in their codependency. Their toxic relationship created an atmosphere thick with tension, mistrust, and constant conflict.
If my parents had been aware of their traumas—if they had found the courage to confront and process them—perhaps they might have managed to build a healthy relationship, or at least coexist peacefully, if not lovingly. But first, they would have needed to accept their imperfections and support each other through the process of healing.
Acknowledging their vulnerabilities, talking openly about their fears and needs, could have helped them form a bond based on mutual respect and understanding. Unfortunately, they did not know how. That was how things were back then—expressing feelings and needs was taboo.
As a result, I inherited their pain and frustration, which left deep scars on my life.
My childhood and teenage years were complicated—filled with spiritual, psychological, and physical suffering. The violence between my parents was a nightmare that spilled relentlessly onto me. Every argument, every shout, every aggressive gesture carried a brutal message: I do not matter. Love does not exist. Family is self-punishment.
In that toxic environment, the education I received became a constant source of fear and insecurity, not of guidance or support. I learned to hide my emotions to avoid judgment, to suppress my inner rebellion for fear of punishment. Fear and mistrust took root deep within my soul.
I began to think and act just like my parents in my relationships with others—behavior that caused conflict and stunted my personal growth for many years. Instead of focusing on my dreams, on personal or professional progress, I had to fight my fears, rediscover myself, re-educate my mind, and search for the meaning of my life.
I remember how sometimes I tried to open up, to seek genuine connections with others—yet each attempt was blocked by my own anxiety. The fear of rejection and judgment made me vulnerable, turning me into prey for manipulators—for psychopaths, narcissists, and sociopaths alike.
I felt lonely and powerless, constantly seeking validation and acceptance to fill the emptiness in my soul. While I could have built my own boundaries and nurtured self-confidence, I allowed others to dictate who I was, what I should feel, and how I should behave.
By the time I turned thirty, I was still trapped in the maze of emotional and psychological abuse—a web of lies and manipulation from which I could not escape.
It was then, for the first time, that I realized I was living a life that was not mine—repeating my parents’ story. I understood that I was not just a passive victim, but also responsible for attracting manipulators into my life. I did not understand my own worth, I was not aware of my strengths, and I held the mistaken belief that anyone who offered me a bit of support or validation deserved an important place in my life.
Every step toward healing was painful, yet necessary. Gradually, I learned that I am not defined by my past—that I have the power to choose my own path, to set healthy boundaries, and to build relationships grounded in respect and authenticity.
On this journey, I discovered I was not alone—that many others like me had been lured into the same web of toxic, manipulative relationships. By sharing my story, I realized I could bring comfort, courage, and understanding to those still struggling to save themselves.
Although the wounds may seem deep and painful, it is possible to rediscover our inner strength, detach from what harms us, and learn to live in harmony with ourselves. Healing begins with acknowledging our suffering and the impact that abuse has had on our lives.
Once we step onto the path of awareness, it becomes essential to listen to our emotions and understand our reactions more deeply. This awareness allows us to release the toxic patterns that have shaped our perceptions, choices, and decisions.
We must remember that emotional and spiritual recovery is a complex process. There will be difficult periods, but every step we take toward healing helps us transform weakness into strength—to uncover our qualities, to become aware of our frustrations and complexes, and to learn to act freely, without fear or prejudice.
Without healing, we cannot cultivate inner harmony, spiritual power, or healthy relationships.
Key message
At thirty, I was still lost in the labyrinth of emotional and psychological abuse. That was when I realized I was living a foreign life—following my parents’ script.
I was not just a passive victim, but responsible for attracting manipulators.
I did not understand my own worth; I was unaware of my qualities and lived with the false belief that anyone who offered me a bit of support or validation deserved a place of importance in my life.
The Shadows and Lights of Childhood: How Parents’ Experiences Shape Their Children’s Destiny
Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children, passing down the lessons they themselves have learned from life. This means that if they have succeeded and see themselves as winners, they will instill the same values and attitudes in their children. Conversely, if they have experienced failure, they will transmit a sense of defeat.
During the first three years after birth, parents lay the foundation for their child’s life script. Throughout childhood, this script is influenced by heroes and villains from fairy tales, books, or movies. This is how a child builds their vision of what is good or bad, what it means to be a winner or a loser. During adolescence, that script is revised and adjusted to the surrounding reality.
It is important to note that this process can create illusions and misconceptions. Not all the information received is relevant or useful in real-life situations. For example, stereotypes like “soulmates,” “rich people are heartless,” or “icon painters are automatically devout” are dangerous generalizations.
Take, for instance, the story of Sleeping Beauty. It suggests that love can endure forever without effort—that it is enough to be beautiful, rich, or successful to be loved. In reality, there are countless circumstances that influence the rise and fall of affection and that lead to painful separations.
Thus, we end up living the illusion of happiness or well-being, avoiding action, postponing solutions, and convincing ourselves that our life script is perfect—that no matter the disruption, the ending will always be positive.
Behaviors and reaction patterns passed down from generation to generation can deeply influence how individuals relate to themselves and to others. When these patterns are mostly negative or socially rejected, people tend to resort to psychological games to create a different perception of who they are.
These are complex, often unconscious behaviors—selfish and manipulative—aimed at gaining advantages in interactions with others. They can profoundly damage all types of relationships: romantic, familial, or professional.
Psychological games include:
Image projection: hiding vulnerabilities or vices to avoid criticism or rejection.
Strategic vulnerability: dramatizing certain situations or emotions to attract empathy and support.
Excuses and justifications: rationalizing negative behaviors by shifting responsibility to others.
When individuals feel frustrated or threatened by how they are perceived, they become more prone to engaging in psychological games. This can be understood as a way to:
Avoid rejection: by manipulating others’ perceptions, they protect their reputation and minimize the risk of being judged.
Seek validation: they adopt behaviors that make them seem more appealing or acceptable to others.
Control interactions: psychological games give them a sense of power and influence in social exchanges.
Such relational patterns become not only a defense mechanism but also a strategy for rebuilding interpersonal relationships and adapting to social expectations.
Emotionally unbalanced individuals are the most likely to repeat these scenarios, unconsciously seeking validation and predictability. They reproduce the same roles and dynamics, convinced they will eventually obtain acceptance or affection from others.
In the long run, this reinforces emotional dependency, feeding the vicious cycle of toxic relationships and preventing the formation of authentic connections built on mutual respect and emotional safety.
This is why recognizing and taking responsibility for inherited behavioral patterns—through constant correction and improvement—is an essential step in the process of emotional healing and personal growth.
Key Message
“Psychological games refer to complex, often unconscious behaviors through which individuals pursue specific goals or outcomes in their interactions with others. These involve a series of hidden thoughts and actions that, though seemingly well-intentioned, often carry selfish or manipulative motives.”